ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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