you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sponge bath it is.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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