He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
