ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
