How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
