i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
