You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
