"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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