those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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