i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
