Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
