we have officially lost it.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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