in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
