I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
