carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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