glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
