I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize