apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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