wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just want nice things and good sex
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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