if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
