I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
All I want is dick and wine.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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