Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
