she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
