So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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