I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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