How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
