do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
