I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
