Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
