so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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