Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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