If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
