I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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