good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
