He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
