apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
