you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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