we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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