Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
