whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
