Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize