I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
