Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
