What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
