Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I hate all girls vehemently.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
it's like iHOP with fire
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
