Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
