So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
