I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just want to make out with him forever
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
