And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You are a genius and a whore.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I did not marry a roomba.
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