He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
