Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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