question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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