Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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