White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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