you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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