We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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