Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize