I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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