I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
