All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
false alarm. still invincible.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
