just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
